And where you are ain’t where you wish that you was
well your life ain’t easy and the road is rough
but where you are is where He promised to be…
…This is real life, baby
this ain’t no Hollywood dream
– Rich Mullins, “Where You Are”
Before I left to go abroad, someone gave me the advice to try not to go into it with any expectations: to have an open mind. I thought at the time that I was doing a pretty good job at that. I knew that there was going to be a potential culture shock, homesickness, uncomfortable situations, and unexpected challenges. But recently, I’ve realized that I did have some expectations for my time abroad, and seeing those not being met has led to disappointment. Recently, I was blessed to be able to call one of my really good friends from Hope who’s also abroad. We shared highs and lows, and at the end of the call, we asked how we could pray for each other. She asked if I could pray that she wouldn’t compare her experience, but be able to live in the moment and be grateful for the gift that studying abroad is. I realized that I needed the same thing.
So far in these blogs, I’ve been writing about the amazing trips I’ve gone on. That was certainly an aspect of the program I was looking forward to, but I was also really excited about living in Quito: getting to know the city and the people, experiencing a new culture, and hopefully connecting with other Jesus-followers. I knew that we would be gone often on trips, but also saw that we had several weeks in the city. I imagined these weeks to be full of possibilities for exploring and encountering all kinds of new things.
I also had heard that SIT was known for more academically rigorous programs. What I didn’t know is that my program is supposedly the most rigorous, at least according to my professor. During orientation, he informed us that we would be here to do school, not to go out and party like our friends studying abroad in Europe.
This made me a little concerned. I have little to no interest in partying, so that wasn’t a problem, and I generally do really enjoy school. But, I also value having a life outside of school and, like I said, was looking forward to being in Quito. I hoped that my professor was exaggerating to make a point.
Turns out, he was not. Our first full week in Quito, between the Cloud Forest and Amazon excursions, was packed. I’m taking classes from 8 am – 4:30 pm, with homework afterward.
Granted, part of this cram was due to the fact that we had to make some unexpected schedule changes. Our next Quito week (after the Amazon) we had a bit shorter days (class until 1:30). But, still enough outside work to make me feel like my life was dominated by school.
I really wanted to go explore the city, spend time with my host family or other Ecuadorians, and be in places other than our classroom and my family’s house. Even more than that, I felt like I wasn’t connected to anything meaningful, that all the schoolwork I was doing was choking me off from opportunities to connect with the family of God, know and love my neighbors, and be shaped into the person God made me to be. These frustrations were exacerbated by the thoughts of all of the adventures and transformative experiences that my friends abroad in different programs must be having. Instead of having an epic study abroad experience, my time was occupied with the same kind of worries and schoolwork that I could be doing at home.
At some point during that week, I remember thinking of a Rich Mullins song I heard before studying abroad: “Where You Are.” The song is all about how God is with us even when we’re in situations we don’t want to be in. One lyric in particular continued to pop into my mind: “this is real life baby, this ain’t no Hollywood dream.” That truth was helpful in combating my disappointment. Study abroad can be painted as a picturesque experience, but really it is just another form of real life. And sometimes when you’re a college student real life looks like doing homework all day because you need to turn that paper in.
So, I’ve been working on changing my mindset. Even though I haven’t been able to get more involved in a church in Ecuador like I hoped, I’m grateful to have been able to worship with a few church communities and for the conversations about faith I’ve had with my host mom and some members of my cohort. I’m also grateful for the things that I’m learning that are making me more aware of the needs of the vulnerable, which is one way I can love my neighbors. I remind myself that I always have opportunities to participate in the Kingdom by seeking peace and the wellbeing of other people.
I’ve also been recognizing all of the amazing things that I do get to experience here. For example, every day I get to have breakfast and dinner with my host mom, and we’ve had some great conversations about her life growing up and current events in Ecuador. And, even though we have a lot of work, it’s interesting, and not all of it is tied to the computer. With our Spanish class we’ve gotten to visit a museum, learn about medicinal plants, and prepare empanadas and cevichochos. My Spanish group is also working on a project on food waste that involves conducting interviews with Quito residents, so we’ve gotten to go to some markets to talk with fruit vendors as folks on the street and in parks.
When I think about it, I truly have nothing to complain about. All of studying abroad, all of real life, is a gift – even the less-glamorous parts.
Ecuador lesson #5: Sometimes life isn’t what I want to be. But, that doesn’t mean I’m separated from being a participant in the Kingdom. There is still so much to be grateful for, and daily opportunities to choose what is life-giving.
¡Hasta luego!
-Megan
P.S. This blog post is suuuper overdue. At lot has happened since then, including a trip to the Galapagos! Stay tuned for another post *hopefully* coming soon.
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