It takes time (part 1)

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Phrase in Spanish I learned this week:

¡Ojala que la hubiera encontrado más temprano!

(I wish I had found this community earlier!)

I had to put the sentence into DeepL’s translator to make sure I got the past subjunctive tense right before I sent the message to my new friend, Ana.* We had exchanged WhatsApp contacts when we met a few days earlier, but I wanted to follow up and make sure that she knew how much I had been blessed by our meeting. 

It had certainly been an unexpected adventure! One of my friends from my program was going to confession and I had decided to join her. (That story could be a whole post on its own, but it’s not what this one is about.) She had arranged to meet with a specific priest, a friend of a friend of her host mom who could hear a confession in English (because our Spanish isn’t that good yet). The address she gave us led us to a street surrounded by houses and apartment buildings. No church to be seen. We were feeling confused and a little nervous when a lady pulled up on the street next to us. Two gringas standing on the side of the road, looking around? Definitely lost. We told her what we were looking for and asked if we were in the right place. Apparently, we were. “Yes, I know that address,” she said (in Spanish, of course). “It’s right past this gate. I live there. Come, I’ll show you.” Even more confused, but grateful that we at least had some help, we waited as she opened the metal garage door gate in front of us and drove through. We followed. 

It turns out the address we had wasn’t for a church, but rather a living-learning community. The lady who met us at the gate, Ana, worked there as the hostess. The community often has international students come to stay, do service work, and be a part of spiritual formation, so she assumed that we were some of those. She welcomed us in and showed us around. It was beautiful: several sitting rooms, a chapel, a dining room, a library, and a kitchen where she told us they had cooking classes sometimes. The center wasn’t just for the students who lived there, but anyone in the community as well. 

A low-angle full shot depicts the front of a building with a light-brown first story and a red second story, with green space in the foreground. The building is composed of two main architectural sections, one to the left that protrudes further forward and has the main entrance to the building and the other sitting slightly farther back. The first story wall closest to the viewer is made of light-yellow stucco. A small but well-maintained grass lawn is partially on the right edges of the frame. On the right side of the main entrance is a small section of grass surrounded by white pebbles, some green bushes, and a black-wrought-iron fence. To the right of the main section of grass is a taller, thinner tree that extends diagonally toward the building. Its leafy foliage goes partially off frame. A silver lamp with an inverted square shade is on a piece of green lawn next to a short retaining wall composed of terracotta-colored bricks. Two sections of horizontal windows on the first story allow light into the units. The top portion of the building is mostly red, but has a strip of light yellow separating it from the windows on the first story, as well as a thin strip of tan stucco running vertically above each corner. The roof juts outwards a bit. A stone sidewalk leads into the building’s entrance.
Entrance to Tulpa. Totally looks like just another apartment building!
Photo credit: instagram.com/residenciatulpa

After I had met with the father for confession, Ana found me again and brought me into the dining room for a cup of tea. We ended up chatting for more than an hour, interrupted several times as other women wandered in, to whom Ana introduced me. I learned more about the center, Tulpa, and Ana’s work there. I also shared what I was doing in Ecuador. Ana asked me where I had been around Quito. “We have to organize a trip!” she said when my friend had rejoined us. It seemed like she was inviting us to go on an adventure together! Unfortunately, we told her, were leaving in two days for our Independent Study Project. Even so, as we left, she continued to affirm that we were welcome back any time. She showed us how to open the gate so we wouldn’t be stuck in the street again. 

As I left, I was feeling grateful for the beautiful interaction that we had, and at the same time, disappointed. Why hadn’t I found this place earlier? If only I had more time in Quito. 

That sentiment, in a way, summed up how I felt during my last week in the city. After more than two months in Ecuador, it was now that I felt like things finally started to click. Not that I hadn’t had moments of connection before. But this week, I really saw roots growing.

For example, I had always had a good relationship with my host family, but this week we had some really sweet moments together. On Monday, I made pancakes with my host mom. A few weeks earlier, she had made me a kind of onion tortilla for breakfast, which reminded me of a pancake, except savory. I asked her if she had ever tried a pancake, American style, and she hadn’t. So, we went to the Supermaxi on Monday to get the ingredients. As I had feared, buttermilk isn’t a thing in Ecuador, so we attempted to make our own with milk, yogurt, and lime juice. I think we put in a little too much lime, because the pancakes were a tad sour, but still delicious! Maple syrup is also non-existent here, but peanut butter, honey, or jam made great alternative toppings. Peanut butter on pancakes is the Kamper family norm, and I was delightfully surprised that Supermaxi sold JIF natural! It was a little pricey, but I bought it anyway. As I told my host mom, it’s the best kind.

The image shows a white table covered with various ingredients and utensils presumably for baking. The table appears to be set up in a home environment, with chairs and other household items visible in the background. On the table, there are two mixing bowls, one white with a red and pink floral pattern around the rim, and the other a larger white bowl containing a whisk and a spatula. Next to these are measuring cups. Ingredients include oil, salt, sugar, peanut butter, a carton of eggs labeled "Huevos Frescos de Gallina" (Fresh Chicken Eggs), a blue pitcher of milk labeled "100% Leche Fresca" (100% Fresh Milk) and a bag of flour that indicates it is "Harina de trigo" (Wheat Flour). There’s also a small container of KAARU yogurt. Additionally, there is a notebook open with a handwritten recipe or list of ingredients. The text visible on the notebook includes terms like "huevos" (eggs), "aceite" (oil), "harina" (flour), and "sal" (salt), confirming the baking theme. A white cloth drapes over some of the items towards the back of the table.
All ready to make pancakes! Notice the JIF peanut butter?
A smiling woman wearing a blue T-shirt and dark jeans looks straight ahead; she stands to the left of a white household gas range that has two black frying pans on it with pancakes frying on the burners. To the right of the woman, the range is visible. It's a standard model, white on the front and stainless steel on the top surface. There are four white knobs on the front, and two uncovered frying pans on the stovetop burners. One frying pan is further back on the range and contains a plump, golden-yellow pancake; the other pan in front of it is in the process of cooking a pancake. The batter has holes from being on the burner and the pancake is almost done. The woman holds a spatula with a black handle, which is partially obscured by the upper frying pan. The counter extends to the right, its surface covered in white. Behind the range, the backdrop consists of white square tiles, the space broken by a thin band of metal. The woman stands to the left, her smiling face turned toward the viewer. She has blue or green eyes and wears her hair in a low ponytail. She wears a shirt with a pale blue short-sleeved T-shirt over a long-sleeved gray shirt. Her right shoulder and arm blend into the partially-seen wall behind her. The image is cropped closely from the waist up. The lighting appears diffused.
Two frying pans sit on a gray gas stove, each containing a fluffy pancake. The upper pan is black, with a round, evenly browned pancake. The lower pan is bronze, and its pancake shows a mottled cooked pattern with a few darker spots. Both pancakes are plump and appear warm.
They turned out great!

Another sweet moment with my host family came later that week. My host parents usually watch TV at night, and they are lying in bed with the door open watching some show or another when I walk past to say goodnight on the way to my room. This night, my host sister was in the room too, and they invited me to come and join. It was a gameshow, “Ahora Caigo”, which involves contestants answering trivia questions, with the losers having the floor drop out from underneath them and falling to who knows where. Pretty fun actually, and interesting because the show is based in Ecuador, so there is some country-specific trivia. 

I learned that it’s a show that they watch together every night when there’s a new season. Again, I felt sad that I was leaving. If I had more time in Quito, I could see myself joining for more evenings of “Ahora Caigo,” and maybe working on my trivia skills. Or, maybe my host mom and I would do some more cooking together. I thought of an Uber ride I had earlier that week when my driver invited me to come watch the women’s flag football games he coaches in La Carolina on Sundays. Maybe I would have checked that out. And I definitely would have gone back to Tulpa and gotten to know the women there. 

Just as I was about to leave, I felt like I was getting a glimpse of what my life could look like if I stayed. It was sad, but also encouraging. It showed me that I could build a life and find community in a new place. It just might take time. 

Speaking of time…this post is getting long. I’m going to make it a two-partner again. Read the next post to hear about how I continued thinking about this theme as I moved to my Independent Study Project site!

¡Hasta Luego!

-Megan

*name changed for privacy

The post It takes time (part 1) appeared first on Off-Campus Study.





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